How do we learn to love ourselves? Toronto Nutritionist

The first time I met Joanne, she was overweight, sad, depressed and having financial problems. I had just launched my holistic practice and was discovering ways to successfully help people heal themselves. As our first session wound to a close, I gave Joanne an exercise as homework: For the next 6 weeks, she was to say, ‘I love myself’, ‘I love myself’, ‘I love myself’, as often as possible.

Joanne left with a little smile on her face. Six weeks later, when she walked in to my office, I honestly didn’t recognize her. She had lost 25 lbs. and was radiant. I asked her what she’d done to transform herself to that degree, completely forgetting the exercise I’d given her. When she told me how religiously she’d done her homework, I was blown away by the results and began to use the mantra on myself.

Nikki, another client, was a beautiful hair dresser, full of confidence and looked absolutely amazing. When I enquired about her history, she told me that she used to have low self-esteem. One day, she’d decided that from then on, she’d put on her best clothes every day. Hmm I thought I should try that as well. Within a few days, of donning my best clothes every day, people began to complement me on my appearance. At the same time, I was using my affirmation, ‘I love myself’. I felt that my cells were being changed with my new affirmation.

Then came Victoria. She’s a long-time friend with a lot of confidence. Several of us went on a trip to Jamaica. The first morning, we were putting on our bathing suits to go out to the beach. I came out in a one piece, but Victoria, who is a large woman, sauntered out in a bikini. She strutted down the beach looking stunning, radiant and confident. I thought to myself, why don’t I feel that way? Although, I was extremely disciplined and did some form of exercise every day, I realized I was very critical with myself. After observing Victoria, I decided from then on, I was going to enjoy my body and love it, warts and all.

Then I met Madeline. Madeline, a student of mine told me she lived every day like it was her birthday. Each day, she dressed as if she was celebrating her special day and because it was her birthday, she adopted a feeling of being special, just as one does on their birthday. As Madeline continued to apply her ‘birthday technique’ a deep love for herself developed. After, discovering Madeleine’s secret, I too began to live each day like it was my birthday.

Sometime later, after saying I love myself all day every day, and wearing my best clothes every day, and living each day like it was my birthday, it happened. Finally, I truly loved myself! I am not perfect, but I love and respect myself.

I have a personal motto that fits with all I’ve learned from these four women: People have to help me grow or they have to go! And because of this, I surround myself with people like Joanne, Nikki, Victoria and Madeline.

Robyn Sharma is one of my favorite authors. He says that there are no extra people on earth. Everyone matters. Everyone has a purpose. Reading these words was the icing on the cake; I love myself and know that I along with every human being am special and unique.

What I learned from these amazing women can be applied by anyone. Try these techniques and you will be surprised by the results; I was. The changes will not happen overnight, but one day you will look in the mirror and discover you truly love yourself too!

In health,

Jane Durst-Pulkys, PhD, BSc., R.N.C.P., C.N.P.